The Bloated Belly

Eat this: Coffee cake

Jack Venus returns to his kitchen after yet another rigorous tour fighting crime and bedding Hollywood starlets to whip up a quick coffee cake for unexpected guests. —Lewis

Venus Coffee Cake

Ingredients:
1 cup sugar*
2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1/2 Tsp. salt
1 can pie filling (of your choice)
Cinnamon
1 9x13" cake pan

The recipe is actually pretty straightforward, mix the sugar, flour and salt together. 

Then add in the oil and eggs.  Beat together with a mixer or with a fork until well combined.  Viola. You now have the batter.

Spread half of the batter into the bottom of the ungreased cake pan and level it out evenly.

Open up that can of pie filling and carefully spoon about half of it over that bottom layer of batter.  Level the pie filling out, as well.

Carefully spoon the remaining batter over the top, until all of the pie filling is covered. Try not to leave any pie filling exposed, because it'll burn during the baking process.

Once that's all done, sprinkle a bit of sugar over the top and a little cinnamon as well.  The sugar will caramelize and make the coffee cake extra tasty.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes and let cool.

Enjoy!

*I use Vanilla Sugar, which is just sugar that's been put into a container
with a vanilla bean or two.  The vanilla flavors the sugar and makes it very tasty, especially in coffee.

The deal with Zander…

First, let me state that I like Zander Café in St. Paul. Always have. I live just around the corner, you know. I liked the varnished plywood floor, the homey-yet-elegant feel, the great food at absurdly reasonable prices. I put up with the periodic, unexplained “Sorry, we’re closed” signs, because, hey, it’s a neighborhood joint and sometimes people have things to do. As I said a sentence ago, Alexander Dixon’s food has always been top-notch, inventive yet familiar, and priced to not bust your bank account.

So, when he began yet another remodeling of the joint earlier this year, I would plunk my face against the window, shield my eyes from the glare and try to figure out what he was doing. I saw carpeting going in. Carpeting?! Over that nifty plywood? Damn!

Then the lady friend and I ran into him one day as we were peering in, and he explained his project. The bar was moved to the west room, the main dining room remained in the middle, and the east side, where the bar, live music stage and the funky booths were, would be turned into a banquet-type facility. The carpeting was to cut down on the noise. All right, I could understand that.

So, about a week after he reopened, we wandered in with pops for dinner to see it was a now a white tablecloth joint. Wha?

We took our seats and saw that the inventive menu and reasonable prices remain, however. Now, this shortly-after-opening meal was back in April, So the memory is a tad hazy on details. I do remember pops had salmon en papillote (salmon and veggies cooked in a parchment bag), which he said was very good, the lady friend had a short rib special, which I recall was outstanding, and I ordered the beef tenderloin special, an eight ounce filet poached in red wine. The mat was damn near fork tender, perfectly cooked. But the flavor? I don’t know what I was thinking. It was tenderloin. Poached. It didn’t have much flavor at all. Tenderloing doesn’t have much flavor. That’s why you sear it, and often with black pepper.

Now, I only register that detail for background on our most recent meal there about a month ago. Again, t’was damn good, although the service was odd, a bit inconsistent, and the guy was just…I dunno. I really felt like punching him at the end of the meal. But hey. This review is a month late, I’ll focus on the food. I started with the three soup mosaic (roasted red pepper, cream of parsnip and sherried black bean arranged in a kind of three color zen sign) which was rich, textured and outstanding. Followed that with a roasted beet and cucumber salad—also outstanding. Entrees went like this: pops had the fish special (memory fails here, other than it was very good) I had pork tenderloin special, which came with a whimsical hash that made the entire meal a joy to eat. Good spice, cooked perfectly—I normally don’t order pork tenderloin at restaurants, because I can cook a pretty good one myself. But this sounded great, and it delivered.

It was the lady friend this time who went for the beef. The steak Dianne from the menu. An eight-ounce New York strip with a maderia wine herbed mushroom sauce, and served with herb and parmesan roasted potatoes.

It was only OK. Again, not that it was bad. It certainly wasn’t. But, I guess I’m to the point where, if I can pull it off at home, I’m not all that impressed. Is this a complaint? No. And the lady friend wasn’t, either. I mean, it was only 25 bucks. Considering the price of a nice 8 ounce hunk of black angus, plus the labor in cooking it and the sides from a damn good chef, it’s a bargain. But I gotta say, two times around, and the beef meals haven’t ben on the same par as the other dishes we ordered.

Hardly a negative review here, folks. My opinion is, Eat At Zander. But, maybe it’s the white tablecloth that throws me. Expectations are raised. I shouldn’t want to punch my server. We should have a steak that sings like everything else on the menu. Nice to see that the tablecloths are not present during the lunch hours.

Again, this ain’t a negative review. I’m damn lucky to have a joint like Zander within walking distance, and I think it definitely ranks as a “destination restaurant,” also.

Zander Café
525 Selby Ave.
St. Paul, MN 55102
651-222-5224

Lurcat: Hold the salt, please

A quick note to a very good restaurant:

Dear Café/Bar Lurcat:

You are a very fine restaurant. I enjoy you very much, and recommend you to friends. But what happened last Saturday night? Two of my party of four ordered mixed baby green salads with the lemon shallot vinaigrette and were taken aback, saying, “This is salty.” I tried them. They were. Salty, but not inedible, nothing to complain about on a busy Saturday night. It was jam-packed in there. My apple, cheese and chive salad was just right, though. We also had that buckwheat crepe appetizer and those fancy sliders of yours (was that butter in those burgers?) that were just fine. Then the entrees. Salmon for the lady fiend, shrimp for pops, sea bass (I think) for his wife and rack o’ lamb for me. My lamb arrived cooked a perfect medium rare, and I dove in for the first bite and…Wow! Salt! I mean, it was, Wow! Salt! Not inedible (I did eat it), but for a great hunk of meat (with a $34 tag), what the heck is all that salt doing on there? Way. Too. Much. Salt. Water please! Just leave the pitcher!

Just thought I’d mention it only because I’ve had many a nice meal with you. Never has there been an overpowering of any one thing in any dish—always well balanced. And, like I said, it was edible. Just not $34 edible. Next night went to Christos in Minneapolis with pops. He ordered their rack of lamb. Didn’t look quite as pretty, but was ten bucks cheaper. Cooked to a nice medium rare. Tasted great.

Don’t worry Lurcat, This isn’t a rant or a skewering—everything else was fine, including the service. I won’t abandon you. Just tell the folks dealing salt that evening to dial it back a notch.