Pig in the pines

A couple weekends ago I was back in Wisconsin again, folks. The lady friend’s parents celebrated their 40th anniversary (incomprehensible to me) and we just tried to fit in a “family” visit before she’s back teachin’ and I’m back on regular deadline schedule. Well, actually I am back on regular deadline schedule, but I’m in denial. Fuck it. I am so ready to leave my journalist/editor career…

Anyway. Up in Minocqua. Saturday, after some antiquing (I’m seeking a cast iron Dutch oven, doesn’t have to be a Griswold, but, whatever). Saturday took us to St. Germain and “Pig in the Pines” rib fest, an NBA (National Barbecue Association) event.

I’ve been to a lot of barbecues and barbecue restaurants, but I don’t recall ever being to competition.

We crossed under the banner into the public park and our ears were greeted by perhaps the worst speed metal music I’ve ever heard, the band flailing away at a stage at the back of the park, beyond the corn-on-the-cob booth. I’m sure (or I hope) event organizers are re-thinking their music strategies for next year. Fortunately, the band got it out of their system after a few songs and crashed into some slightly less foul Bob Seger covers.

It’s funny because often when I return to these parts I say (to myself), “What the fuck?!” And not in any sort of judgmental, “You fucking rubes” kinda way. Hell, I lived for five years in Eau Claire, going to school for my undergraduate degree, which drew all kinds, from Chicago, Ill. To Gilman, Wis.

It’s more a “What the fuck” out of curiosity and a bit of admiration. How the fuck do people live out there—I mean LIVE and not just vacation. It’s generally peaceful and quiet, particularly compared to any real urban environment. But there’s not much to do, particularly if you don’t fish, hunt, own a boat, or wish to dabble in teenage flesh.

As much as I like to get away from the city and hit the Northwoods, I can’t last more than about a week without wanting to go postal. The only place I can seem to last at length is at pops’ cottage in Forest, Ont., which I've documented before. Something about the vastness of Lake Huron, I suppose. Makes me feel small. And I can sit and watch it endlessly. OK, it helps that there’s a major metropolitan area about a half-hour away, too.

But I digress.

There were four “competitors” in this barbecue competition. Two from Ohio—Sgt. Oink's and Pigfoot—Chicago BBQ Company and Sutphen's Texas Thunder.

The food looked all right,

and for the most part tasted OK (the sampler from Sutphen's included pulled pork, brisket, baked beans, bland cole slaw and untoasted Texas toast), with only one real failure, which was the ribs from Pigfoot, which were ridiculously fatty and the predominant flavor—like Sgt. Oink’s and Sutphen's—was salt. A little sauce at some of the competitors was just OK (Sgt. Oink’s had a very nice sweet sauce) but by far and away the winner of the rib contest was from the Midwest—Chicago BBQ Company.

I always try a rib just by its lonesomes, as it is off the grill, just to see how serious folks are about their meat. And oh, the Chicago ribs were so flavorful, the meat just firm enough—not falling off the bone, mind you, that’s not proper—but tender as all get out and no heavy rub or slather to hide any imperfections or incompetence. Just good meat, good spice, nice sauce. Kicked ass.

But I don’t know if they won this “competition,” but the line in front of the booth when we were fixin’ to leave told the story.

But to hell with the food. What’s really interesting about these Northwoods get-togethers is the people watching. Everyone from Illinois tourists to townies this time of year up there, and they blend together as well as polka dots and plaid.

Guess the category in which this fella holds court. (Yeah, I’m being nice here and sorta disguising him. No need to be a jerk.)

Not making fun of him here, or putting us urbanites on a higher plane. The man was having a good time. As were many others staggering around.

No staggering for this hombre, though. I was on good behavior ‘til we got back to the cabin and then I parked myself on the porch and began intoxicating myself with a bit of vino, watching the deer wander up to the feeder with the lady friend and her family. True Northwoods behavior, there.

Comments

[Dr. Biggles]

Ah, that sounds like fun. And I think your What the Fuck comes out of my mouth as, "jeezus people" with a little head shake as I look to the ground.
I think I'd get along just fine up there. I don't mind being alone, out in the middle of nowhere, doing nothing. Ever. Did some classy grilling yesterday. Let some huge pork goodness sit indirectly on the grill for 4 hours with mesquite and hickory. Sheet was fine.

Biggles

[Harry Nutczak]

The "Pig in the pines" event is not a BBQ competition, it is only a rib-based vending event with out of state vendors traveling from town selling their wares. Nothing more than a carnival trailer selling hot-dogs.

Expecting a quality rib from these traveling BBQ-Carnivals is like expecting a quality steak from McDonalds,it just is not going to happen.

If you must come up to the northwoods, please spend your money wisely, leave it in places that support the community. For instance, Try the Arbor Vitae Firemans picnic, great food, events for all ages, and watch the waterfights between different volunteer fire departments. Try your hand at the beer raffle, maybe watch the trapshooting competition.

Try to remember that all the touristy crap you come to participate in is designed to empty your wallet, If you pull into a parking lot and only see license plates from Illinois, I bet it is not a place favored by the locals and is usually not a good choice.

One real important thing, remember you are a guest to their community, Please act accordingly.

That bright orange lettered shirt that say's "ILLINOIS" on the front is not really needed, they already know by the agressive driving, poor attitude, and sense of entitlement that is shown so well by the visitors. try to blend a little, you may enjoy your visit much more.

[Mike Larrabee]

Your comments are well chosen but your use of profanity ruins the intelligent commentary.
My daddy always told me profanity is the language of the ignorant proving they have nothing intelligent to say.

Thanks for your time.